Spooning The Muse

Not long after turning 40, I was broadsided by the realization that I was halfway to my dirt-nap. This triggered a torrent of existential questions and a marathon of introspection. This time of navel-gazing ultimately led to some decisions and course corrections. It was also when I was confronted by the novel I’d never written.

I’ve always loved books and, as a teenager, I became enamored with the thought of writing my very own. Though this passion grew and endured, I allowed the hustle and chaos of life to push it aside. In the clarity of my half-dead analysis, I decided it was time to take action. I began writing.

That was eight years ago. Eight. Do you remember the music video for Epic by Faith No More? Did you ever see 2001: A Space Odyssey? How about Office Space? My fiction-writing experience thus far is a mixture of the flopping and gasping fish from the Epic video, the Neanderthals smacking at the monolith in 2001, and the printer scene from Office Space.

Why so slow?

I’ve done lots of technical and business writing over the course of my career. I’m good at it and have enjoyed some success in this domain, with some of my work published or used in interesting ways. I thought this experience would help me with my novel. Nope. Writing fiction uses different muscles and regions of gray matter. If anything, decades of crunchy writing has forged habits that need to be unlearned for fiction.

My brutal inner-editor also shoulders much of the blame for my slow progress. I do my best to keep him bound and gagged in the janitor’s closet of my amygdala, but he’s crafty. He inevitably escapes and wreaks havoc on my drafts, demanding destructive edits in pursuit of unattainable perfection. Jerk.

Still, I’ve made significant progress in spite of myself. Today, I have several long-form fiction projects in progress, each sitting in the 30,000 – 80,000 words range. I also have a pile of short fiction projects that I’m tidying up to share elsewhere. I am determined to self-publish a book this year.

Let’s go slower.

With such an important lifelong goal within my reach, there’s obviously only one thing to do: finish the thing start a podcast. What may seem like extreme avoidance and self sabotage is, well, exactly that. But that with purpose and intentionality. Should the podcast come to fruition, I will need to extend my campsite reservation at the KOA in the Valley of Undone. I may even need to trade in my pup tent and sleeping bag for a Wayfair-furnished yurt. It will take a bite out of my already limited writing time. Nevertheless, I’ve convinced myself it will be a worthwhile detour on my journey.

Why? I plan to connect with, learn from, and promote other fiction writers. Spooning The Muse will be an interview-format podcast that will explore the journeys, struggles, victories, tips, tricks, and pitfalls of published and unpublished writers of fiction. It will also be an opportunity for said writers to shamelessly promote their work.

Interested?

I’ve decided not to spend time, energy, or dollars promoting my podcast concept. If there is interest, I’ll do it. If there’s not, I won’t. I’ll just park this post here and see what happens.

If you write fiction and would like to explore being a guest on Spooning The Muse, let me know in the comments or email podcast@jaybenfield.com.